Stay Strong.

I finally gave into it. For the first time, I've cut. It wasn't deep, and not many, but it's the very first time I've actually cut. Why do I feel so.. Relieved?

Sun, 12 May 2013 13:21:05 +0100

pain (cutting) releases endorphins in your brain which make you feel good. its normal to feel like that, but it’s not healthy. cutting is a dangerous, addictive way of dealing with emotions, and it’s really not something you want to get caught up in. it will start to take over you, become all you think about, and it will make things worse for you. please darling, don’t do it again.
-ella

Everything's getting worse, I keep getting panic attacks more and more often and more severely I've been cutting deeper and my anxiety isnt even letting me answer a question at school I've had a school therapist for 3 months and still never told him about my suicidal thoughts or cutting or my angst cause he'd tell the school safety officers and they'd tell my mum I can't find a way to speak anymore so I want to never speak again I just want to die I WANT TO RECOVER SO BADLY but I'll kill myself.

Sun, 12 May 2013 13:18:42 +0100

a therapist wont ever be able to help you unless you’re completely honest with him/her. I know its difficult, but I promise you, you have to be strong and do it. it’s for the best. I know you’re struggling, but you are strong enough to beat this.
stay strong, and good luck
-ella

GUYS

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 15:06:48 +0100

lovelunalovegood:

timeywimeymetalbender:

clrew:

TUMBLR’S GETTING A NEW CHAT SYSTEM

FOR CHAT IN REAL TIME

http://babblr.me/

SIGN UP BEFORE MAY 7TH AND YOU’LL BE ABLE TO GET BABBLR FOR FREE

REBLOG THE SHIT OUT OF THIS

Reblogging cause I want as many of my followers as possible to join me in this!

We could use this for writing fanfictions!

Will defo use this to talk to people for urgent help

I was clean for over a year I think, but today was just too much for me to take. So I slipped up. I'm disappointed in myself, but I also know it's just a part of trying to recover. I can't tell family or friends, but I needed to say it to someone.

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 15:03:32 +0100

Relapse is a part of recovery. If you understand this you can pick yourself up and keep going.

And you can always come to this blog if you need someone to talk to.
-ella

My mom just found out that I cut. I lied to her and told her that it was a one time thing, but I knew that if I told her that I had been doing this for months, it would kill her inside. I can't seem to confess why I do this because she has never been there for me and instead of keep asking about the situation she went ahead and got a therapist so she won't have to deal with me. What do I do from now on?

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 15:02:25 +0100

I think it’s just come as a shock to her. It won’t be because she doesn’t want to ‘deal with you’, she just wants the best possible help for you, and isn’t sure how to give you that herself.
When you go to see the therapist (which I 100% recommend that you do), you have to be honest that cutting has more of a hold on you than you mum thinks. Nobody will be able to help you if you aren’t completely honest.
Everything will be okay, I promise
-ella

i relapsed last week. and since then, i feel completely emotionless. like my body has shut down. i cut because i feel pain.but im numb, and utterly empty and idk why. im trying to smile and play it off like everything's okay, but i feel like im in such a daze, i cant focus at all. i have no emotion, whatsoever. i know what i should be feeling, but it doesn't happen. this has never happened to me before. i don't know who i am anymore. im so lost. am i the only one who this has happened to?

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 14:59:55 +0100

no. you are not alone.

I was about 3 months clean until yesterday >.< Last night i went too deep. Is there anyway to prevent some of the scarring that i know will come? Make up isn't working to cover it.

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 04:15:57 +0100

**Can I just say that finding ways to hide your scars does NOT mean its okay to cut. Its just about moving on from whats in the past that you cant change.

But, you made it 3 months!! That’s amazing work!! This is only a slip up and you can continue with your clean streak.

Bio oil is great for fading them in the long term. Also moisturise as much as you physically can!! Particularly cocoa butter, I’ve heard, is good for fading scars.

As for short term, if they’re on your legs, buy some skin tone tights? On your arms, if makeup isn’t working, you could get yourself a really lightweight cardigan, or I wear a lot of long sleeves chiffon shirts - they’re opaque enough that my scars aren’t visible, but still really thin so I’m not to hot in summer.

Hope this helps at all!!
-ella

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Wed, 17 Apr 2013 04:08:07 +0100

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Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:02:51 +0100

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Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:00:54 +0100

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Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:00:07 +0100

I never thought that I would be sitting on my bed thinking about suicide. I had been full of life but all life did was break me. There is too much pain, it won't go away and I know I will never escape it. I want to die, I am ready to die. The pills look so inviting. My parents have made it clear they don't love me. What's the point in living anymore?

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:59:47 +0100

There is ALWAYS something worth living for. Please, please don’t go without finding it. You have so much to live for! If not your parents, then your friends, your future, you. You have so much going for you, so much of the world left to see, so many amazing people to meet, and so much fun to have. I swear to you. Please believe me. Keep fighting, keep battling, and stay strong. Because you are strong, I know you are. And you are beautiful, intelligent, talented and so much more. Don’t let anyone take all that from you. Your life is worth living. I promise.
-ella

For a year and a half, I've hated everything about myself. My family, friends, my looks and the way my life was going. I shut everyone out because everyone I trusted had at least not been there for me when I needed them the most. Now I'm a lot better, but I've still shut them out. A very close friend is seriously concerned but I just can't let my guard down. I'm battling through life alone, and I'm scared of trusting again because of what happened in the past. Life is good however.. Any advice?

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:55:44 +0100

You wont be able to move on with your life until you let people in. It can be difficult, if people have let you down in the past, but that was the past. And everybody is different. You are surrounded by people you can place your trust in, you just have to let your walls down.

My dad is pissed at me and I have cut a lot more than usual because he calls me a skunk and whore. I just want to escape the pain I constantly feel. I've been thinking about suicide and it seems like the best way to go right now. I just need someone to be there for me, please anything you can tell me to help, I need it desperately.

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 14:53:27 +0100

Your dad is wrong.
He is wrong.
Always remember that what he’s saying to you is wrong.
He has no right to treat you that way, and you must NOT believe him. He is lying to you. You are so. so. beautiful. Do not let anyone take that from you, or make you believe it’s not true. Because you deserve to live. Your life is going to be amazing, you just have to make sure you’re there to make it happen.

It has been two years today since I last cut, It was really hard at first, the urges were strong but after a long while the urges faded and I haven't had one for about 6 months. I think I may be getting to the stage I can call myself recovered instead of just recovering.

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 23:26:53 +0100

this message made my day. I really am so proud of you. Congratulations!! It takes time, but its worth it isn’t it? —ella

This Mr MacCallum guy.. How old is he?

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 10:49:43 +0100

29, why?

It's been 53 days since I last cut. Even though this is the longest I've ever made it, the urge to cut is still just as bad as if I were doing it regularly. Does it ever go away? Has it just not been long enough?

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 10:49:29 +0100

well done!! aw I am SO proud of you!!
you have to keep going. youre doing so well!! it will pass, you just have to stay strong and keep fighting
love -ella

I'm 17 and I have no ind to talk I'm our if school and I completely isolated myself from everyone but my girlfriend. I don't feel like I can talk to her because I don't want to hurt her.

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 01:40:45 +0100

if that’s how you feel comfortable, then for now that’s okay. talk to your girlfriend though - if she’s worth your time then she’ll understand and listen to you. you need to have someone you can open up to and be honest with. I promise this is the best thing to do. and please don’t totally cut yourself off from everyone, its not the way to go
love, -ella

things are getting better but i still feel horrible. nothing too bad has happened, and i dont cut, but i still feel like everything is falling apart. What should i do?

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 22:41:14 +0100

find someone you trust to talk things through with. you don’t want to carry all this around and let it eat at you and weigh you down
-ella

escape-to-anywhere: waitingtobefixed: Please Reblog....

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 22:39:59 +0100

escape-to-anywhere:

waitingtobefixed:

Please Reblog. <3

planning on getting it tattooed when im 18 aha

not too keen on how this is written. we’re not idiots.
but yeah, lets do it

Stay Strong.

I finally gave into it. For the first time, I've cut. It wasn't deep, and not many, but it's the very first time I've actually cut. Why do I feel so.. Relieved?

GUYS

I was clean for over a year I think, but today was just too much for me to take. So I slipped up. I'm disappointed in myself, but I also know it's just a part of trying to recover. I can't tell family or friends, but I needed to say it to someone.

I was about 3 months clean until yesterday >.< Last night i went too deep. Is there anyway to prevent some of the scarring that i know will come? Make up isn't working to cover it.

Photo

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It has been two years today since I last cut, It was really hard at first, the urges were strong but after a long while the urges faded and I haven't had one for about 6 months. I think I may be getting to the stage I can call myself recovered instead of just recovering.

This Mr MacCallum guy.. How old is he?

It's been 53 days since I last cut. Even though this is the longest I've ever made it, the urge to cut is still just as bad as if I were doing it regularly. Does it ever go away? Has it just not been long enough?

I'm 17 and I have no ind to talk I'm our if school and I completely isolated myself from everyone but my girlfriend. I don't feel like I can talk to her because I don't want to hurt her.

things are getting better but i still feel horrible. nothing *too* bad has happened, and i dont cut, but i still feel like everything is falling apart. What should i do?

escape-to-anywhere: waitingtobefixed: Please Reblog....

things are getting better but i still feel horrible. nothing too bad has happened, and i dont cut, but i still feel like everything is falling apart. What should i do?