Anonymous asked: I think I'm going to kill myself, I feel so alone right now. I have no one to talk to, no one that loves me.

please don’t. you are not alone. you have me to talk to. I love you.
-ella

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Anonymous asked: This is my last cry for help. No one loves me. I need someone to talk to before I cut my wrists, and kill myself.

Come off anon and we’ll talk. Please. I’ll stay up all night until I’m sure you’re okay
-ella

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I’m really struggling today

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Anonymous asked: I can't stay strong longer, but I know there's a future for me, I just can't wait to get over this bullshit. Although I know it's only starting. I hate myself. I hate everything. I hate that I hate everything. I just want to die. Am I supposed to swallow all the pills at the same time or one by one? My heart is so black and cold and I cant to anything to change it, I know I shouldnt feel this way at such a young young age but I cant help it.

I’m gonna tell you something I said in a conversation with someone off anon a few days ago. This doesn’t just go for you, it goes for anyone and everyone who’s struggling. When I first started therapy sessions, I hated it. I couldn’t see the point and a lot of the time I felt worse for it. But what I’ve learnt, something that no therapist ever says, is that if you want to be happy, you have to do it yourself. You have to get up one day and decide that you’re not gonna feel this way anymore. Therapy will teach you to do that, once you understand that fact. The rest of the world, assumes that therapy is the answer to all you’re problems. It’s not. You are. You have to ignore what makes you unhappy and concentrate on what does. Get on with what you have to do, but don’t let it get you down. You have to fix yourself, no one else can. Once you truly understand this, you will begin to get better.

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Anonymous asked: I want a psychologist, to see if she can help me with my problems. But I'm scared to tell my mom because I feel she would say Im crazy and I dont need anything like that, she wouldnt let me try it out. I just really want one, I dont want to cut anymore, she sees everything, I cant keep it away from her, I dont want her to ask whats on my wrist, thats the only fucking thing that keeps me from slicing my wrists, I need to find a way to tell her I need help.

try writing a letter. one of my best friends had a very similar problem, and with the help of our head of year at school, she wrote her mum a letter explaining what had been happening, how she’d been feeling, and what she’d like to do next. she’d had a lot of problems with her mum in the past, but when she gave her the letter, her mum tried her best to understand and do what was best for her.
your mum loves you, she’ll do anything she can to help you, you just have to help her understand.
-ella

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Anonymous asked: hey I just wanted someone to talk to really. I first cut like a month ago, worst decision ever. people trigger my pain and then I cut. I suffer from depression and anxiety. idk no one knows I cut, and its getting worst. im starting to take my skin and cut into it like you would paper. its just so addicting. I'm just hurting so much I don't know what to do

you need to talk to someone who can help you. go to your parents, a friend, a teacher, or a doctor. you cant fight this alone. you need someone to help you through
-ella

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Anonymous asked: Your blog helps me a lot and I almost cut today. So thanks. Even if you don't know it. Because I really wanted to feel the pain again. But then I realized that I shouldn't and that I'm better than this

I am so proud of you. well done. really, well done.

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